40 year old Ohio native Aurthur Price (who is over Eighty tall) was arrested and charged with indecency after allegedly fucking his own personal lawn furniture in his own personal yard. His nosy unnamed neighbor claims to have seen him flip over the furniture before hand (everybody knows lawn chairs like doggy style) on four separate occasions. The man is married so I am putting the blame squarely on his wife for obviously not being more attractive than nicely assembled metal tubing. Why are the Brits the only ones that report on this kind of shit?
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