The Whitest Site You Know

You might think it is strange to write a blog post about another blog, well you are correct unless the blog you are writing about happens to be far superior in every way shape and form. I am of course talking about Stuff White People Like You may or may not have heard of or watched or viewed this site yet because its fairly new as far as the interwebs popular blogs go, it started in January and already has a 17,800 Alexa ranking, (no kidding check out that fucking graph!) and almost 20,000,000 hits. In fact its so good that they already have a book deal! The site is basically a "handbook" for people of other races that explains all the things that "well to do", artsy, hipster type white people like in order to gain their trust and friendship in hopes of benefiting from all the things white folks can provide. I was hooked when I read #41 Indie Music with lines such as "To a white person, being a fan of a band before they get popular is one of the most important things they can do with their life. They can hold it over their friends forever!" I immediatly though of Fungdark contributor Joey's post from a couple weeks ago entitled "Validation" where Joey goes on to say that he heard of a bunch of bands before they got popular (Vampire Weekend, Death Cab) and because of that he now has "validation" in his life and now is on the hunt to find new ones before everybody else. I about lost my shit whilst reading the SWPL post just a week after Joey's article.

The Whitest Site You Know

You might think it is strange to write a blog post about another blog, well you are correct unless the blog you are writing about happens to be far superior in every way shape and form. I am of course talking about Stuff White People Like You may or may not have heard of or watched or viewed this site yet because its fairly new as far as the interwebs popular blogs go, it started in January and already has a 17,800 Alexa ranking, (no kidding check out that fucking graph!) and almost 20,000,000 hits. In fact its so good that they already have a book deal! The site is basically a "handbook" for people of other races that explains all the things that "well to do", artsy, hipster type white people like in order to gain their trust and friendship in hopes of benefiting from all the things white folks can provide. I was hooked when I read #41 Indie Music with lines such as "To a white person, being a fan of a band before they get popular is one of the most important things they can do with their life. They can hold it over their friends forever!" I immediatly though of Fungdark contributor Joey's post from a couple weeks ago entitled "Validation" where Joey goes on to say that he heard of a bunch of bands before they got popular (Vampire Weekend, Death Cab) and because of that he now has "validation" in his life and now is on the hunt to find new ones before everybody else. I about lost my shit whilst reading the SWPL post just a week after Joey's article.

Death Cab for Cutie - New Tour Dates

Unfortunately, I've not yet had the privilege of seeing Ben Gibbard and Co. in Phx yet, and even more unfortunate is that they just announced some additional dates and they're coming to Mesa Amphitheatre on June 18th; one day after I fly to California to go camping for the summer. Since I can't make the concert, I'm hoping that enough of you will go see it and film various 30-second clips with your sophisticated phones that you can all send to me and I can relive the experience from different vantage points. June 19th, @ Mesa Amphitheatre on sale 4/4 (4/2 if you're a fan-club member) For those of you dearest readers, who are outside of the Phoenix/Mesa vicinity, and reside in other just as important states of this union, you may see if your city is on the list as well:

Death Cab for Cutie - New Tour Dates

Unfortunately, I've not yet had the privilege of seeing Ben Gibbard and Co. in Phx yet, and even more unfortunate is that they just announced some additional dates and they're coming to Mesa Amphitheatre on June 18th; one day after I fly to California to go camping for the summer. Since I can't make the concert, I'm hoping that enough of you will go see it and film various 30-second clips with your sophisticated phones that you can all send to me and I can relive the experience from different vantage points. June 19th, @ Mesa Amphitheatre on sale 4/4 (4/2 if you're a fan-club member) For those of you dearest readers, who are outside of the Phoenix/Mesa vicinity, and reside in other just as important states of this union, you may see if your city is on the list as well:

five-seven-five-fun

five-seven-five-fun

Really, Eddie Murphy, Really?

Let's get the important stuff out of the way first. I watched this video nine times in a row today at work and laughed my balls off each time. Okay, now down to business. Can we all agree that Eddie Murphy starred in some of the funniest movies of the 1980's? 48 Hrs., Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, Golden Child, Coming To America, Eddie Murphy Raw, and let's not forget about his stretch on SNL. You can disagree with me if you want but then I would take you off of my Kwanzaa card list. So, let us, just for the sake of argument, say that he did in fact star in some of the funniest movies of the 80's. I loved each and every one of these movies. In fact, I still do. Then came the 90's and for no apparent reason he went from being in some of the best movies to the absolute worst. Sure, Nutty Professor is the one exception. But one good one movie out of twenty really bad ones? I didn't finish the 3rd grade but even I know that percentage is pretty fucking bad. I'd pretty much given up hope on Eddie Murphy until I saw Dream Girls. This movie wasn't really made for my demographic but it wasn't bad and Eddie Murphy was really good in it. He even got nominated for an Oscar for best supporting actor. I had hoped that this would be a turning point in his career and we would see him take some more serious roles or at least ones that weren't as shitty (The Adventures of Pluto Nash anyone). Well, I just saw the trailer for his latest craptastic movie, Meet Dave, and I feel like I just got kicked in the balls. I'm pretty sure that he's just fucking with me now. He either picks movie roles based solely on how much I will hate them or all that special effects makeup and fat suits have completely ruined his ability to tell good movie scripts from bad ones. Eddie Murphy has kicked me in the balls via his shitty movies for the last time. Eddie, if you're reading this (and I know you are) I just want you to know that you're dead to me now. DEAD!

Really, Eddie Murphy, Really?

Let's get the important stuff out of the way first. I watched this video nine times in a row today at work and laughed my balls off each time. Okay, now down to business. Can we all agree that Eddie Murphy starred in some of the funniest movies of the 1980's? 48 Hrs., Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, Golden Child, Coming To America, Eddie Murphy Raw, and let's not forget about his stretch on SNL. You can disagree with me if you want but then I would take you off of my Kwanzaa card list. So, let us, just for the sake of argument, say that he did in fact star in some of the funniest movies of the 80's. I loved each and every one of these movies. In fact, I still do. Then came the 90's and for no apparent reason he went from being in some of the best movies to the absolute worst. Sure, Nutty Professor is the one exception. But one good one movie out of twenty really bad ones? I didn't finish the 3rd grade but even I know that percentage is pretty fucking bad. I'd pretty much given up hope on Eddie Murphy until I saw Dream Girls. This movie wasn't really made for my demographic but it wasn't bad and Eddie Murphy was really good in it. He even got nominated for an Oscar for best supporting actor. I had hoped that this would be a turning point in his career and we would see him take some more serious roles or at least ones that weren't as shitty (The Adventures of Pluto Nash anyone). Well, I just saw the trailer for his latest craptastic movie, Meet Dave, and I feel like I just got kicked in the balls. I'm pretty sure that he's just fucking with me now. He either picks movie roles based solely on how much I will hate them or all that special effects makeup and fat suits have completely ruined his ability to tell good movie scripts from bad ones. Eddie Murphy has kicked me in the balls via his shitty movies for the last time. Eddie, if you're reading this (and I know you are) I just want you to know that you're dead to me now. DEAD!

Fuckin' A Friday: Mazzy Star

I just had the idea to start doing a review of something really old, awesome and semi-obscure every Friday. So to begin with I am going with Mazzy Fucking Starr's excellent sophomore effort So Tonight That I Might See circa 1993 (that rhymes if you say it out loud or even in your head or even if you whisper it to your neighbor) I remember it came out when I was working at Hastings in Idaho Falls, Idaho. We used to play it over PA system on these thing called CD players and confused most of the patrons since it wasn't Shania Twain or Boys 2 Mens. The track you might remember from this album was Fade Into You peaking at #3 on the US Modern Rock Charts. The song that my good pal Josh Hinsch says "Always makes me feel like I am in a movie" and I second his sentiments and you should third them. Unfortunately for them their third album didn't do so hot and they broke up. Throw the CD into your iPod, ride your bike to the nearest coffee house and lament over your lost youth. But first check out the video, I know you don't have anything better to do. I have to get back to my submarine, the SS Handsome Dolphin.

Fuckin' A Friday: Mazzy Star

I just had the idea to start doing a review of something really old, awesome and semi-obscure every Friday. So to begin with I am going with Mazzy Fucking Starr's excellent sophomore effort So Tonight That I Might See circa 1993 (that rhymes if you say it out loud or even in your head or even if you whisper it to your neighbor) I remember it came out when I was working at Hastings in Idaho Falls, Idaho. We used to play it over PA system on these thing called CD players and confused most of the patrons since it wasn't Shania Twain or Boys 2 Mens. The track you might remember from this album was Fade Into You peaking at #3 on the US Modern Rock Charts. The song that my good pal Josh Hinsch says "Always makes me feel like I am in a movie" and I second his sentiments and you should third them. Unfortunately for them their third album didn't do so hot and they broke up. Throw the CD into your iPod, ride your bike to the nearest coffee house and lament over your lost youth. But first check out the video, I know you don't have anything better to do. I have to get back to my submarine, the SS Handsome Dolphin.

DON'T PANIC (but really, do.)

In music news, Panic At the Disco (the officially dropped the silly "!" from their name) finally released their follow-up album to 2005's "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" entitled "Welcome To The Sound Of Pretty.Odd." I started writing this blog on March 25th, but I wanted to give it a few more days for it to all sink in. I'm not special, so I don't get advanced copies of albums to listen to. Like the Killers did in 2006, Panics' attempt to enter the way-back machine to capture musical ditties that we can proudly (rebelliously?) pay homage to the music of our parents when they were young may just pay off. The Killers used Bruce Springsteen as their inspiration, Panic wants to mix a little Vegas with the Beatles. I'm not a chemist, but that sounds dangerous. It's worth mentioning, though it's not my original thought, this is Panic's Sgt. Peppers - from the horns and strings recorded at Abbey Road, to the mid-song tempo changes and even a tune with some country twang. They've also given the song titles more thought this time around, abandoning the standard non-sequiturs that peppered 2005's Fever. In short, I'm really digging the album. It took a few listens, but the gems are starting to shine, and it may separate those who were looking for another fever to sweat out, but in my opinion, they're going in a different direction. And I'll gladly see where the (Abbey) road takes us!

DON'T PANIC (but really, do.)

In music news, Panic At the Disco (the officially dropped the silly "!" from their name) finally released their follow-up album to 2005's "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" entitled "Welcome To The Sound Of Pretty.Odd." I started writing this blog on March 25th, but I wanted to give it a few more days for it to all sink in. I'm not special, so I don't get advanced copies of albums to listen to. Like the Killers did in 2006, Panics' attempt to enter the way-back machine to capture musical ditties that we can proudly (rebelliously?) pay homage to the music of our parents when they were young may just pay off. The Killers used Bruce Springsteen as their inspiration, Panic wants to mix a little Vegas with the Beatles. I'm not a chemist, but that sounds dangerous. It's worth mentioning, though it's not my original thought, this is Panic's Sgt. Peppers - from the horns and strings recorded at Abbey Road, to the mid-song tempo changes and even a tune with some country twang. They've also given the song titles more thought this time around, abandoning the standard non-sequiturs that peppered 2005's Fever. In short, I'm really digging the album. It took a few listens, but the gems are starting to shine, and it may separate those who were looking for another fever to sweat out, but in my opinion, they're going in a different direction. And I'll gladly see where the (Abbey) road takes us!

VW Hearts Wilco

Esquire.com just had a "contest" I guess, for the best songs in car commercials or best car commercials with songs or car songs with a commercial, fuck I don't get it either. BUT with Wilco my favorite "still together/alive" band of all time licensing their entire album Sky Blue Sky (my Album of the year 2007) to Volkswagen, it comes as no surprise to me that in this contest (even though probably only created because of Wilco) they won 5 of the 10 spots, and thats half folks...HALF! 10. "Sky Blue Sky," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen Eos 9. "Our Country," by John Mellencamp, for the 2007 Chevy Silverado 8. "You Are My Face," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen Jetta 7. "Walken," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen Jetta 6. "Stars," by Hum, for the 2007 Cadillac CTS 5. "Either Way," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen Beetle 4. "Red Morning Light," by Kings of Leon, for the 2008 Ford Focus 3. "The Funeral," by Band of Horses, for the 2008 Ford Edge 2. "The Thanks I Get," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen GTI 1. Whatever song was playing behind the footage of Bob Dylan driving a big, black luxury SUV through the desert for the 2008 Cadillac Escalade

VW Hearts Wilco

Esquire.com just had a "contest" I guess, for the best songs in car commercials or best car commercials with songs or car songs with a commercial, fuck I don't get it either. BUT with Wilco my favorite "still together/alive" band of all time licensing their entire album Sky Blue Sky (my Album of the year 2007) to Volkswagen, it comes as no surprise to me that in this contest (even though probably only created because of Wilco) they won 5 of the 10 spots, and thats half folks...HALF! 10. "Sky Blue Sky," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen Eos 9. "Our Country," by John Mellencamp, for the 2007 Chevy Silverado 8. "You Are My Face," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen Jetta 7. "Walken," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen Jetta 6. "Stars," by Hum, for the 2007 Cadillac CTS 5. "Either Way," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen Beetle 4. "Red Morning Light," by Kings of Leon, for the 2008 Ford Focus 3. "The Funeral," by Band of Horses, for the 2008 Ford Edge 2. "The Thanks I Get," by Wilco, for the 2007 Volkswagen GTI 1. Whatever song was playing behind the footage of Bob Dylan driving a big, black luxury SUV through the desert for the 2008 Cadillac Escalade

Lazy Horse Mattress

I'll be honest with you guys, I can't think of anything to write about. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal but since everyone decided they were going to start posting on FungDark I didn't want to feel like the odd man out. Don't worry though, a little case of writers block isn't going to keep me from bringing the funny. Well, technically it's Will Forte from Saturday Night Live doing a fake commercial on Tim and Eric Awesome Show who's bringing the funny. But I'm bringing the funny to you so I'm still kind of bringing the funny. Right? PS: Why aren't you watching Tim and Eric Awesome Show yet?

Lazy Horse Mattress

I'll be honest with you guys, I can't think of anything to write about. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal but since everyone decided they were going to start posting on FungDark I didn't want to feel like the odd man out. Don't worry though, a little case of writers block isn't going to keep me from bringing the funny. Well, technically it's Will Forte from Saturday Night Live doing a fake commercial on Tim and Eric Awesome Show who's bringing the funny. But I'm bringing the funny to you so I'm still kind of bringing the funny. Right? PS: Why aren't you watching Tim and Eric Awesome Show yet?

Introducing Zero Punctuation and the latest review

You gotta love British humor. Especially when it's rambling about one of my all-time favorite hobbies, Videogames. Take Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, "a British-born, currently Australian-based writer and gamer with a sweet hat and a chip on his shoulder" who takes recently released games and literally tears them apart, exposes their flaws, and rambles on and on about "wankers" and other various popular British phrases. New to Fungdark, though he's been doing so weekly for theescapistmagazine.com, Ben creates simple video reviews to (mostly) rip apart a current game. The funny part, is even if it's a game that I love, he's usually absolutely right in it's flaws, so I have to hand it to him there. This week's game review is for the Wii game, Zack and Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure. The Metareview of the game averages a very respected 87% rating...lets see how it fares for the Brit. (Possibly NSFW, but then again who gives a fuck?!?)

So there ya have it kids, he loves it? Well, I'll let you decide...perhaps if you actually do own a Wii, and are of the 8-year old demographic that is quoted, you shouldn't be reading this blog anyhow! It is offensive, slightly, and sometimes.

Introducing Zero Punctuation and the latest review

You gotta love British humor. Especially when it's rambling about one of my all-time favorite hobbies, Videogames. Take Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, "a British-born, currently Australian-based writer and gamer with a sweet hat and a chip on his shoulder" who takes recently released games and literally tears them apart, exposes their flaws, and rambles on and on about "wankers" and other various popular British phrases. New to Fungdark, though he's been doing so weekly for theescapistmagazine.com, Ben creates simple video reviews to (mostly) rip apart a current game. The funny part, is even if it's a game that I love, he's usually absolutely right in it's flaws, so I have to hand it to him there. This week's game review is for the Wii game, Zack and Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure. The Metareview of the game averages a very respected 87% rating...lets see how it fares for the Brit. (Possibly NSFW, but then again who gives a fuck?!?)

So there ya have it kids, he loves it? Well, I'll let you decide...perhaps if you actually do own a Wii, and are of the 8-year old demographic that is quoted, you shouldn't be reading this blog anyhow! It is offensive, slightly, and sometimes.

Redbox'rs unite!

Redbox is one of the best things to happen in recent times. If you've not tried it yet, first, slap yourself and then run out to your nearest Walgreens or better yet, log on here and discover a location near you. There's bound to be one or eleven. I have 3 within a 1/2 mile radius of my house. Awesome? yes. For the uninitiated, Redbox rents mainly current DVDs for $1 per night. The DVDs are held in a RED BOX found outside most local drug stores (Walgreens, CVS, etc.,.). If you're not a slacker and return the DVDs the next day, then you just enjoyed (or only wasted) a glorious evening of cinematic delights for only 100 pennies. That's cheap, there fella, I say! But another thing I've observed is that of a Redbox community - the folks at the kiosks looking at the options or returning a DVD, chatting away this or that about a particular movie. Why, just the other day, I was getting (now regretting) The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada and a fellow Redbox'r commented as I was vending (the act of receiving the DVD from the slot thingy), "I hear that's good." To which, I replied, "Fuck off, who asked you?" Nah, I offered my appreciation of his passed-on, third-hand opinion, grumbling something about hoping it was true. It wasn't. Well, the movie wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible but this isn't a movie review so who cares. I don't and YOU sure don't. Go try redbox.

Redbox'rs unite!

Redbox is one of the best things to happen in recent times. If you've not tried it yet, first, slap yourself and then run out to your nearest Walgreens or better yet, log on here and discover a location near you. There's bound to be one or eleven. I have 3 within a 1/2 mile radius of my house. Awesome? yes. For the uninitiated, Redbox rents mainly current DVDs for $1 per night. The DVDs are held in a RED BOX found outside most local drug stores (Walgreens, CVS, etc.,.). If you're not a slacker and return the DVDs the next day, then you just enjoyed (or only wasted) a glorious evening of cinematic delights for only 100 pennies. That's cheap, there fella, I say! But another thing I've observed is that of a Redbox community - the folks at the kiosks looking at the options or returning a DVD, chatting away this or that about a particular movie. Why, just the other day, I was getting (now regretting) The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada and a fellow Redbox'r commented as I was vending (the act of receiving the DVD from the slot thingy), "I hear that's good." To which, I replied, "Fuck off, who asked you?" Nah, I offered my appreciation of his passed-on, third-hand opinion, grumbling something about hoping it was true. It wasn't. Well, the movie wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible but this isn't a movie review so who cares. I don't and YOU sure don't. Go try redbox.

NETFLIX IS DOWN! HOLY JESUS! (UPDATED Update)

Just so everybody knows, our beloved Netflix is down. And NOT "going down" because that would be ok, down as in NOT WORKING. UPDATE: It is currently as of right now working again...currently right now that is. UPDATED UPDATE: Their is a new look to the Netflix and its much nicer looking but they removed the "pick your disc format" from the Que. Now I can't see if I getting my movie in DVD, HD-DVD or Blu Ray!!! What in the name of balls is this all about I say? UPDATE OF THE UPDATED UPDATE: I guess the removal of the "pick your disc format" was an error that has now been corrected...praise the lord! Now if they could get some actual copies of the Blu-Ray movies I have selected I will...watch them I guess.

NETFLIX IS DOWN! HOLY JESUS! (UPDATED Update)

Just so everybody knows, our beloved Netflix is down. And NOT "going down" because that would be ok, down as in NOT WORKING. UPDATE: It is currently as of right now working again...currently right now that is. UPDATED UPDATE: Their is a new look to the Netflix and its much nicer looking but they removed the "pick your disc format" from the Que. Now I can't see if I getting my movie in DVD, HD-DVD or Blu Ray!!! What in the name of balls is this all about I say? UPDATE OF THE UPDATED UPDATE: I guess the removal of the "pick your disc format" was an error that has now been corrected...praise the lord! Now if they could get some actual copies of the Blu-Ray movies I have selected I will...watch them I guess.

The Format no more

It started with an e-mail Brent sent me - could it be? Sam from The Format had just posted A TON of music gear on Craigslist, citing the band's break-up as the reason for the posting of gear for sale. WTF?? I've seen my share of shows at the Valley's only exceptional venue to see a band in a live setting, Compton Terrace. I’m kidding, of course! I speak of the only worthwhile place to rock out with your drink on, the Celebrity Theatre. July whatever, in the year 2006, was one of those memorable shows - The Format headlined in the round. Their incredible second offering, Dog Problems, had just been released a couple of weeks earlier and by show day, I'd fully absorbed the all of the tunes and was very anxiously waiting, along with the other 2000 folks in the crowd, for the band to take the stage. Lights out...frenzied crowd errupts....cameras flashing....people screaming...and then Nate starts..."Ashes to ashes, dust on the dash..." The show was one of the special ones - the crowd knew it, but moreover, you could tell the band felt it. Hometown heroes getting ready to deliver the goods to the rest of the country and they started here - was a good send-off. Not to take anything away from their major label debut, Interventions and Lullabies. That was my first introduction to the band, and it still flabbergasts me that THAT record didn't catapult them into super-stardom, the likes of Maroon 5 or something. The record is full of ultra-catchy tunes, almost tailor-made for the mainstream radio. In any case, I can only imagine how difficult it is to sustain a career in music when you're up against so much stuff that usually crumbles bands - lack of marketing/proper exposure, no label support, no radio support, probably a very tight tour budget (buses cost up to $1000/day). One last look… "The Format, Live At The Mayan Theatre" - DVD Trailer

The Format no more

It started with an e-mail Brent sent me - could it be? Sam from The Format had just posted A TON of music gear on Craigslist, citing the band's break-up as the reason for the posting of gear for sale. WTF?? I've seen my share of shows at the Valley's only exceptional venue to see a band in a live setting, Compton Terrace. I’m kidding, of course! I speak of the only worthwhile place to rock out with your drink on, the Celebrity Theatre. July whatever, in the year 2006, was one of those memorable shows - The Format headlined in the round. Their incredible second offering, Dog Problems, had just been released a couple of weeks earlier and by show day, I'd fully absorbed the all of the tunes and was very anxiously waiting, along with the other 2000 folks in the crowd, for the band to take the stage. Lights out...frenzied crowd errupts....cameras flashing....people screaming...and then Nate starts..."Ashes to ashes, dust on the dash..." The show was one of the special ones - the crowd knew it, but moreover, you could tell the band felt it. Hometown heroes getting ready to deliver the goods to the rest of the country and they started here - was a good send-off. Not to take anything away from their major label debut, Interventions and Lullabies. That was my first introduction to the band, and it still flabbergasts me that THAT record didn't catapult them into super-stardom, the likes of Maroon 5 or something. The record is full of ultra-catchy tunes, almost tailor-made for the mainstream radio. In any case, I can only imagine how difficult it is to sustain a career in music when you're up against so much stuff that usually crumbles bands - lack of marketing/proper exposure, no label support, no radio support, probably a very tight tour budget (buses cost up to $1000/day). One last look… "The Format, Live At The Mayan Theatre" - DVD Trailer

Ink the pages with my Blood!!!

Kingdom of Sorrow - the masterpiece from the minds of hardcore metal kings, Jamey Jasta (Hatebreed, Icepick, Jasta) and Kirk Windstein (Crowbar, Down). The wait has been worth it - their myspace page was created back in 2005! If you're a fan of mid-to-late-80s metal into very early 90s metal, KOS is a throwback to that era, but with a crushing, pounding assault that delivers a sound all their own. You can pick out the influences of their respective bands but it only serves as an identifier; it doesn't sound like a Hatebreed disc or a Crowbar disc. It's a great combo and with JJ and KW each taking turns on vocals, it keeps the listener engaged and interested. Musicians Steve Gibb-gtr (son of Andy Gibb), Derek Kerswill-drums, and Matthew Brunson prove a solid and very excellent support form. From the opening rager, "Hear this Prayer For Her" through to the pummeling closer, "Buried in Black" - the disc is just bad-ass all the way through. They just played a week's worth of shows in the East, before Jasta and Hatebreed go on a late spring/early summer tour, and Windstein leaves with Down to tour Europe. Searching on YouTube revealed a few of the dedicated who captured some crappy footage of these shows they recently played. A couple of the videos aren't all horrible, and I applaud and thank those folks who made the attempt for those who weren't lucky enough to catch this stuff played live. With both guys fully engaged with their other projects, it's doubtful that a full-fledged tour will come around this year and that makes me sad (insert super frowny face here!!).Check out their myspace to hear some tunes.

Ink the pages with my Blood!!!

Kingdom of Sorrow - the masterpiece from the minds of hardcore metal kings, Jamey Jasta (Hatebreed, Icepick, Jasta) and Kirk Windstein (Crowbar, Down). The wait has been worth it - their myspace page was created back in 2005! If you're a fan of mid-to-late-80s metal into very early 90s metal, KOS is a throwback to that era, but with a crushing, pounding assault that delivers a sound all their own. You can pick out the influences of their respective bands but it only serves as an identifier; it doesn't sound like a Hatebreed disc or a Crowbar disc. It's a great combo and with JJ and KW each taking turns on vocals, it keeps the listener engaged and interested. Musicians Steve Gibb-gtr (son of Andy Gibb), Derek Kerswill-drums, and Matthew Brunson prove a solid and very excellent support form. From the opening rager, "Hear this Prayer For Her" through to the pummeling closer, "Buried in Black" - the disc is just bad-ass all the way through. They just played a week's worth of shows in the East, before Jasta and Hatebreed go on a late spring/early summer tour, and Windstein leaves with Down to tour Europe. Searching on YouTube revealed a few of the dedicated who captured some crappy footage of these shows they recently played. A couple of the videos aren't all horrible, and I applaud and thank those folks who made the attempt for those who weren't lucky enough to catch this stuff played live. With both guys fully engaged with their other projects, it's doubtful that a full-fledged tour will come around this year and that makes me sad (insert super frowny face here!!).Check out their myspace to hear some tunes.

Need me a fix of toads, man

Need me a fix of toads, man

Erotic Falconry

Hey gang, have you ever been masturbating to internet pornography and thought to yourself, this hardcore German porn is great but where are all the falcons? Well wonder no more because someone has finally combined porn and falcons. Erotic Falconry, or as I like to call it - my new home page, isn't exactly hardcore porn but does have some NSFW images. So be warned people who like to masturbate at work. Oh internet, what will you think of next?

Erotic Falconry

Hey gang, have you ever been masturbating to internet pornography and thought to yourself, this hardcore German porn is great but where are all the falcons? Well wonder no more because someone has finally combined porn and falcons. Erotic Falconry, or as I like to call it - my new home page, isn't exactly hardcore porn but does have some NSFW images. So be warned people who like to masturbate at work. Oh internet, what will you think of next?

She & Him, You and Me, Beavers and Pancakes

She & Him are Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward and they make music. You will find said music on their generically yet accurately titled debut album Volume One and you will find this album coming out of my headphones right this very second. And by "coming out of" I mean "cumming out of" since the 13 glorious tracks feel like jizz in my ears, and thats "jizz in my ears" in a good way. I have been pretty excited about this album for a month or so and subconsciously excited for it since hearing Zooey's ethereal voice in Elf. I have also been a big fan of M. Ward for a couple of years now and he doesn't disappoint here even though he is more of the Danger Mouse to Zooey's Ce-Lo. Go to your local Amazon or iTunes and buy this shit up yo. Oh yea, you prob want to know what it sounds like...but I am not the kind of reviewer that wants to tell you what something sounds like, that is what the sample thingy is for. I will just let you know its good and the various levels of aural semen it inserts into my ears and YOU can tell ME and other what you think about it in the forums blow...below.

She & Him, You and Me, Beavers and Pancakes

She & Him are Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward and they make music. You will find said music on their generically yet accurately titled debut album Volume One and you will find this album coming out of my headphones right this very second. And by "coming out of" I mean "cumming out of" since the 13 glorious tracks feel like jizz in my ears, and thats "jizz in my ears" in a good way. I have been pretty excited about this album for a month or so and subconsciously excited for it since hearing Zooey's ethereal voice in Elf. I have also been a big fan of M. Ward for a couple of years now and he doesn't disappoint here even though he is more of the Danger Mouse to Zooey's Ce-Lo. Go to your local Amazon or iTunes and buy this shit up yo. Oh yea, you prob want to know what it sounds like...but I am not the kind of reviewer that wants to tell you what something sounds like, that is what the sample thingy is for. I will just let you know its good and the various levels of aural semen it inserts into my ears and YOU can tell ME and other what you think about it in the forums blow...below.

Wes Craven it

Wes Craven it

Validation

I love music. I think it's safe to say we all do. I love discovering new bands months before the general population gets ahold of it, and months before the radio "mp3-jockeys" over-play, over-expose and utterly beat a single song into the ground that does more to hinder the band's chances of success then do anything to really promote them. My latest example, would be Vampire Weekend. When reviewing my itunes purchase history, I actually purchased their 3-song ep that was available back in July of 2007. 7/19/2007. Upon my first listen, I immediately reminisced about listening to Paul Simon's Graceland. The percussion, heck even the voice of Ezra Koenig singing Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa was, at least in my mind, very Paul Simon-ish. I was hooked. But with only three songs to listen to, I knew I'd be wanting more as soon as I could. January of 2008 finally rolls around, and I stop at my local Best Buy to pick up the newly released self-titled Vampire Weekend album. It was an incredible album. I listened to it at work, I listened in the car, I shared it with friends, etc. Then what happens next? They are the Band of the Week on MTV, they are headlining as the musical guest on SNL, they are getting great press almost immediately after their debut. Well this is good for them, it's great! But for me, it begins to lose it's charm a little bit, and the novelty fades slightly. They were made better in my mind cause no one knew they were. Two months ago, you mention "Vampire Weekend" and those who didn't know thought you were talking about perhaps a new movie coming out, or a recreational activity involving dressing up and terrorizing the neighborhood. To know VW, was to be elite. I love discovering music and more importantly, I love validation. I love being right about something that you think is going to be huge, and it eventually is so that you can let go of it and find something else. Now I'm on the hunt for the next Vampire Weekend, the next Death Cab, the next Rilo Kiley... ***bonus Trivia Game: How many Oxford Commas are in this blog entry?

Validation

I love music. I think it's safe to say we all do. I love discovering new bands months before the general population gets ahold of it, and months before the radio "mp3-jockeys" over-play, over-expose and utterly beat a single song into the ground that does more to hinder the band's chances of success then do anything to really promote them. My latest example, would be Vampire Weekend. When reviewing my itunes purchase history, I actually purchased their 3-song ep that was available back in July of 2007. 7/19/2007. Upon my first listen, I immediately reminisced about listening to Paul Simon's Graceland. The percussion, heck even the voice of Ezra Koenig singing Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa was, at least in my mind, very Paul Simon-ish. I was hooked. But with only three songs to listen to, I knew I'd be wanting more as soon as I could. January of 2008 finally rolls around, and I stop at my local Best Buy to pick up the newly released self-titled Vampire Weekend album. It was an incredible album. I listened to it at work, I listened in the car, I shared it with friends, etc. Then what happens next? They are the Band of the Week on MTV, they are headlining as the musical guest on SNL, they are getting great press almost immediately after their debut. Well this is good for them, it's great! But for me, it begins to lose it's charm a little bit, and the novelty fades slightly. They were made better in my mind cause no one knew they were. Two months ago, you mention "Vampire Weekend" and those who didn't know thought you were talking about perhaps a new movie coming out, or a recreational activity involving dressing up and terrorizing the neighborhood. To know VW, was to be elite. I love discovering music and more importantly, I love validation. I love being right about something that you think is going to be huge, and it eventually is so that you can let go of it and find something else. Now I'm on the hunt for the next Vampire Weekend, the next Death Cab, the next Rilo Kiley... ***bonus Trivia Game: How many Oxford Commas are in this blog entry?

Sheeeeit

When the wife and I were mulling over the idea of turning off HBO to save a little money we didn't take into account that by doing so we would miss the upcoming and final season of my all time favorite cop drama The Wire. Despite the itch to turn HBO back on once The Wire started back up again I decided to wait and just catch the final season on DVD. No big deal, right?

Wrong.I'd probably say that despite the fact that every television critic, journalist, and blogger loves The Wire it's not really that popular and most of you have never seen it. Which is why you don't understand this blogs title. Well let me tell you that this is the BEST FUCKING COP SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF COP SHOWS. CSI, Law & Order, NYPD Blue all suck balls compared to this show.

So I wasn't too surprised at the amount of things written about last nights final show floating around the blogosphere this morning. Personally I'm glad that this show is finally getting the mainstream attention this show didn't get in it's first four seasons.

And to those bloggers and writers who have written so much about this final season I'd like to say...fuck you you mother fuckers! Seriously, you have all given away every single plot detail that I feel like I don't even need to watch the final season now. How about a little "spoiler alert" in your posts before you tell me who killed Omar or what happens to McNulty!?!

Bloggers, the next time I see a movie before you do and you tell me, "Don't ruin it for me man. I haven't seen that movie yet.", you can bet your sweet ass that I'm going to ruin it for you. Sorry, payback is a bitch.

though I bitch now I'll still get season 5 on DVD. I have a good idea how things end but this show is so good I will enjoy watching every minute of the plot unfold.If you already watch The Wire then good on you but if you don't then this is definitely one show that you will want to pick up on DVD.

Sheeeeit

When the wife and I were mulling over the idea of turning off HBO to save a little money we didn't take into account that by doing so we would miss the upcoming and final season of my all time favorite cop drama The Wire. Despite the itch to turn HBO back on once The Wire started back up again I decided to wait and just catch the final season on DVD. No big deal, right?

Wrong.I'd probably say that despite the fact that every television critic, journalist, and blogger loves The Wire it's not really that popular and most of you have never seen it. Which is why you don't understand this blogs title. Well let me tell you that this is the BEST FUCKING COP SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF COP SHOWS. CSI, Law & Order, NYPD Blue all suck balls compared to this show.

So I wasn't too surprised at the amount of things written about last nights final show floating around the blogosphere this morning. Personally I'm glad that this show is finally getting the mainstream attention this show didn't get in it's first four seasons.

And to those bloggers and writers who have written so much about this final season I'd like to say...fuck you you mother fuckers! Seriously, you have all given away every single plot detail that I feel like I don't even need to watch the final season now. How about a little "spoiler alert" in your posts before you tell me who killed Omar or what happens to McNulty!?!

Bloggers, the next time I see a movie before you do and you tell me, "Don't ruin it for me man. I haven't seen that movie yet.", you can bet your sweet ass that I'm going to ruin it for you. Sorry, payback is a bitch.

though I bitch now I'll still get season 5 on DVD. I have a good idea how things end but this show is so good I will enjoy watching every minute of the plot unfold.If you already watch The Wire then good on you but if you don't then this is definitely one show that you will want to pick up on DVD.

Helio Sequence - Keep Your Eyes Ahead

I know that it's only the beginning of March but already 2008 has produced some great music. I've written about some of my favorite new releases already from Vampire Weekend, Lightspeed Champion and Bon Iver but I've held off about writing about Helio Sequence until now. It isn't that I don't think that their new album, Keep Your Eyes Ahead, isn't as good as the ones previously mentioned, it's just that I always like to add a little sample for you to check out and haven't really been able to find a suitable clip until now. Helio Sequence - Keep Your Eyes Ahead All I know is that I want a suit of light like that and would love to cruise around on that cart. The whole album is awesome and definitely worth checking out. I highly recommend the track "Hallelujah".

Helio Sequence - Keep Your Eyes Ahead

I know that it's only the beginning of March but already 2008 has produced some great music. I've written about some of my favorite new releases already from Vampire Weekend, Lightspeed Champion and Bon Iver but I've held off about writing about Helio Sequence until now. It isn't that I don't think that their new album, Keep Your Eyes Ahead, isn't as good as the ones previously mentioned, it's just that I always like to add a little sample for you to check out and haven't really been able to find a suitable clip until now. Helio Sequence - Keep Your Eyes Ahead All I know is that I want a suit of light like that and would love to cruise around on that cart. The whole album is awesome and definitely worth checking out. I highly recommend the track "Hallelujah".

The Foot Fist Way - Red Band Trailer

Holy shit this looks funny. I can not wait to see this movie.

The Foot Fist Way - Red Band Trailer

Holy shit this looks funny. I can not wait to see this movie.

George Lucas Is An Asshole

According to a recent post from /Film Paramount Pictures is going to release new special edition DVD's of the Indiana Jones trilogy. Kind of like the Indiana Jones DVD trilogy they released back in 2003 that you shelled out $50 for. This is the best example I can give of why I completely stopped buying DVD's: no matter how special the special edition box set you buy is there is eventually going to be another really special DVD box set. Like the Blu-ray Indiana Jones special edition trilogy and then don't forget about the special edition box set coming out with all four Indiana Jones movies and then just wait until we switch from Blu-ray to the next thing. And you know who's idea this was, yep, George "I want all your fucking money" Lucas. He did this same shit with Star Wars. First there was the enhanced original trilogy on DVD and then there was the theatrical release version trilogy on DVD. I call shenanigans my friends, shenanigans indeed.

George Lucas Is An Asshole

According to a recent post from /Film Paramount Pictures is going to release new special edition DVD's of the Indiana Jones trilogy. Kind of like the Indiana Jones DVD trilogy they released back in 2003 that you shelled out $50 for. This is the best example I can give of why I completely stopped buying DVD's: no matter how special the special edition box set you buy is there is eventually going to be another really special DVD box set. Like the Blu-ray Indiana Jones special edition trilogy and then don't forget about the special edition box set coming out with all four Indiana Jones movies and then just wait until we switch from Blu-ray to the next thing. And you know who's idea this was, yep, George "I want all your fucking money" Lucas. He did this same shit with Star Wars. First there was the enhanced original trilogy on DVD and then there was the theatrical release version trilogy on DVD. I call shenanigans my friends, shenanigans indeed.

Gnarls Barkley

Is it just me or does Gnarls Barkley's new song, Run, sound like it should be used in a Oceans 11 movie? Just me? Okay. Anyways, I still like it. Danger Mouse and Cee Lo know how to make some awesome music. Kudos on getting Justin Timberlake to guest star in this video. JT has been stretching his comedic acting muscles lately with his kind of funny super bowl commercial, his guest staring role in Austin Powers 4...sorry The Love Guru, and this video. Yeah, I'll admit it, he's funny, but Joey is still my favorite member of N'Sync. Continuing with the tradition of naming their albums after old TV shows Gnarls Barkley's new album Odd Couple will be out in April.

Gnarls Barkley

Is it just me or does Gnarls Barkley's new song, Run, sound like it should be used in a Oceans 11 movie? Just me? Okay. Anyways, I still like it. Danger Mouse and Cee Lo know how to make some awesome music. Kudos on getting Justin Timberlake to guest star in this video. JT has been stretching his comedic acting muscles lately with his kind of funny super bowl commercial, his guest staring role in Austin Powers 4...sorry The Love Guru, and this video. Yeah, I'll admit it, he's funny, but Joey is still my favorite member of N'Sync. Continuing with the tradition of naming their albums after old TV shows Gnarls Barkley's new album Odd Couple will be out in April.

I'm Fucking Matt Damon?

By now you've all seen or heard of the video Sarah Silverman did for the Jimmy Kimmel Show, I'm Fucking Matt Damon, if not you can see it here. I'm not going to post the video here because this blog isn't about how funny this video is(it's pretty fucking funny) but is just another example of why I want to be Matt Damon's bff. In my opinion there is no one else cooler in Hollywood that Matt Damon. I'm sure that other actors wouldn't have done a video like this because they consider themselves "serious" actors but Damon gets it and he's not afraid to poke fun of himself a little bit in the process. In my book he gets a kajillion cool points for doing something like this. But this is just one reason I think he and I should hang out. Other reasons: 1. He's An Amazing Actor He can do the serious acting thing like he did in Good Will Hunting or The Talented Mr. Ripley then switch it up with some serious ass kicking Jason Bourne style and finish it up with some comedy. 2. His Friends Become My Friends I think that in the event that me and Matty D get a chance to hang out and he takes me to a party with Pitt and Clooney that it'll give me a chance to win their friendships with my witty political observations and then it's dinner on Sunday's with Brangelina. 3. He May Give Me Some Money I know he's got some to spare. I'm pretty sure Matt Damon doesn't read my blog but maybe he'll Google his own name some time and come across this blog and contact me. That would be awesome.

I'm Fucking Matt Damon?

By now you've all seen or heard of the video Sarah Silverman did for the Jimmy Kimmel Show, I'm Fucking Matt Damon, if not you can see it here. I'm not going to post the video here because this blog isn't about how funny this video is(it's pretty fucking funny) but is just another example of why I want to be Matt Damon's bff. In my opinion there is no one else cooler in Hollywood that Matt Damon. I'm sure that other actors wouldn't have done a video like this because they consider themselves "serious" actors but Damon gets it and he's not afraid to poke fun of himself a little bit in the process. In my book he gets a kajillion cool points for doing something like this. But this is just one reason I think he and I should hang out. Other reasons: 1. He's An Amazing Actor He can do the serious acting thing like he did in Good Will Hunting or The Talented Mr. Ripley then switch it up with some serious ass kicking Jason Bourne style and finish it up with some comedy. 2. His Friends Become My Friends I think that in the event that me and Matty D get a chance to hang out and he takes me to a party with Pitt and Clooney that it'll give me a chance to win their friendships with my witty political observations and then it's dinner on Sunday's with Brangelina. 3. He May Give Me Some Money I know he's got some to spare. I'm pretty sure Matt Damon doesn't read my blog but maybe he'll Google his own name some time and come across this blog and contact me. That would be awesome.