How Far Can You Get From Illinois?

If you have an extra 15 minuets and a shit ton of self hate then you should definitely check out this mutha fuckin infomercial for the 2009 edition of the "Gathering Of The Juggalos" in some soon to be very very scary woods in Southern Illinois. I am in Phoenix and I don't think that is nearly far enough away. I would suggest someplace safer like Kabul.