Stupid Identity Theft Seminars

Do you know what is really stupid? When a company trying to sell their services comes to your work and offers a total piece of garbage to you in hopes of tricking you into purchasing and or signing up for whatever shit they have to offer you. On some very rare occasions it might be something you actually need/want like a 2 for one membership to Costco, but all the other times they are total shit. Last week this place brought in a couple chair masseuses "back rubbers".

Before you get your chair rub they have you fill out a list of what ails ya and with the pretense that they are going "work" on that problem during your chair rub but in actuality they are going to hard sell you on going to see the Chiropractor they work for. So if you feel the need to have some fat chick with a nose ring rub her wet fish hands all over your shoulder blade for 7 minuets just check all the "no" boxes on the form and they wont fuck with you. They reason I bring this up is because today some shitty bank I have never heard of is coming into our office with a "Brownbad Lunch Identity Theft Workshop" from the sound of that you might think that they are bringing in some food in brownbags for you to eat whilst you listen to their tips on avoiding identity theft but NOOOOOOOOOO we are supposed to bring in our OWN lunch and they are going to provide desert I mean dessert (you always want TWO desserts but only ONE desert my second grade teacher taught us) so not only do I get to spend my lunch time eating shitty food I brought from home I have to listen to some douchbag tell me not to through shit with my name and SSN number on it into the trash?!?!?

Fuck you!!! Take my SSN AND my identity! Then YOU can pay my $1600 a month interest only mortgage on a house that I owe ONE HUNDRED AND TEN THOUSANDS DOLLARS more than it's worth. Good luck trying to open up a credit card in my name...I filed for bankruptcy 5 years ago and I am so BAD with money that I am now in collections for $80 from Proactive because they keep sending it to you whether you want it or not... WTF?

But at least they are targeting the right people, anybody that goes to this thing is definitely the type of person that will give out their bank account numbers and mothers maiden name to the "guy from the bank" that is calling from the blocked number to "verify some recent charges" Have a good lunch retards...don't get your hand caught in the shredder, oh yea I forgot, they are raffling off a paper shredder, I better get going!!!